Trigun Springer episode
by eirijax
Summary: This is something me and my friend Middy [from deviantart] played around with til I finally wrote it.


Springer'Today on Jerry Springer...addiction, and what it does to people'Jerry looks through his notes 'Our first guest tonight is Midvalley'

Audience claps.

Midvalley's rocking back and forth, quickly looks back and forth, then suddenly he's stripping and running around the stage in nothing but a smile.

The audience goes nuts screaming, yelling and cheering him on *you know how they are*. Jerry just watches him as he clears his throat and continues

Springer'Uh...right...Midvalley...uh...Midvalley?' trys to get his attention, and when he has it for a split second he asks quicky 'Is it true your a caffine addict?'

Midvally"Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes" And he starts jumping up and down.

Springer'Alright uh...' flips through his notes '...please welcome our next guest Nicholas Wolfwood'

The crowd cheers as he walks in, shaking and grumbling.

Springer'Now Mr. Wolfwood, is it true that yo...' Woodwolf jumps up and pulls out a gun holding it to Jerry's head "I want a **** cigarette now or I'll blow his ****ing head off!"

Midvally"NICKYGIVEMESOMECOFFEEORISWEARIMMASTEALTH ATCIGARETTEINYOURPOCKET!" And here inserts Midvalley swearing and cursing and starting to beat on Jerry while the audience goes

Audience"JerryJerryJerry!"

Nicky's wrestled to the ground by three stage guards while two more run up to grab Midvally, Jerry slinks away and stands on stage and, while the five guards are tackling the two, he clears his throat.

Springer'Our third guest tonight is Vash' he staggers in drunkenly, then, before Jerry could ask him anything he passes out over the chair and lays upsidedown in the chair, Jerry sighs 'This isn't working out at all...next guest tonight is uh...RaiDei'

RaiDei"Waaaaaaaaaaaait! I gotta finish the last chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist! I gotta know how it ends! And...and I gotta start reading Rurouni Kenshin! It's a personal crisis!" RaiDei whines as he drags himself out in a cosplay outfit that looks like a hairy-legged Sailor Mars.

Audience"JerryJerryJerry..."

Springer'Now uh...RaiDei...it says here that your addicted to...manga?'

RaiDei"Mhmm! And to cosplaying!" He holds his manga protectively. "DON'T TOUCH MY MINT CONDITION VOLUMES OF GUNDAM WING!"

Springer'I wouldn't dream of I...' suddenly Nicky's gun goes off hitting one of the lights above, sending a few sparks and glass down onto the crowd '...and for godsakes get that gun away from him!'

Midvalley finally steals the gun.  
Midvally"HEYEVERYONEIHAVEAGUNANDITSSHINYANDILIKES HINYTHINGSANDILOVECHOCOLATEANDCAFFEINEGI MMESOMECOFFEEDANGIT!"

Audience"JerryJerryJerry..."

The guards run after Middy as Nicky finally is left alone, he pulls out a pack of smokes and lights up one and starts smoking it, calms down sitting on the ground smoking.

Springer'Right...our last guest tonight is Legato...'

Legato waddles out with a highly-seasoned hotdog in his hand.

Legato"Mmf...hmmhmmffumhum..." RaiDei sighs.

RaiDei"Translation please!" Legato frowns and swallows his mouthful of hotdog.

Legato"I said...I WANTED SOME NO-BEAN CHILI ON THIS HOTDOG!" Jerry rolls his eyes

Springer'Is it true your a...hotdog addict?' he asks Legato while the guards are still chasing after a naked gun wielding Middy

Legato"Do you think I would...mffffmufffumfhotdog..." Legato sits down on a chair, breaking it instantly. It's obvious how much his weight has gone up.

Springer'And well be back after this comercial break'

The camera fades as a comercial comes on, unfortunately it's for the new coffee shop next door, open 24/7, serving all flavors of coffee imaginable. The next comercial is for oscar mier brand hotdogs, and the new diner that serves them anyway you want just across the street. The third comercial is for the new anime shop two doors down, with all the newest issues of your favorite manga as well as a costume section where you can find your favorite cosplay outfit. Lastly is one for a newbar just opposite the anime shop, open late, with cheap cigarettes and booze, smoking is allowed. When they return from break Jerry is standing there, all the guests have disappeared, even the passed out Vash managed to leave.

Springer'Well I uh...think that's our show...' Zazie peeks out from behind the curtain.

Zazie"Is this the show with the bedwetters?"


End file.
